


Let the Sin Bleed

by Lif61 (UltimateFandomTrash)



Series: Banned Together Bingo 2020 [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Blood and Injury, Demon Blood, Demon Blood Addict Sam Winchester, Gen, Graphic Self-Harm, Hurt No Comfort, Injury, POV Sam Winchester, Pain, Sam Winchester Whump, Sam Winchester on Demon Blood, Self-Harm, Self-Harming Sam Winchester, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Whump, degredation, near-death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateFandomTrash/pseuds/Lif61
Summary: Sam tries to cut the demon out of him.
Series: Banned Together Bingo 2020 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916230
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	Let the Sin Bleed

**Author's Note:**

> Banned Together Bingo 2020 | Cutting & Self-Harm
> 
> No idea why my brain decided to write this in present tense.
> 
>   
> 

Violent crimson drops fall to the scuffed, splintered floor. The red begins to pour, and it washes across tan skin. Sam grits his teeth against a cry.

The knife runs through his arm again.

_Get it out get it out get it out_

_I can’t be a demon_

_No, can’t be a demon_

Sam cuts deeper, trying to draw more of his blood out. He cries out, tears building up in his eyes. Pain sears deep within him, even throbs.

It’s not enough.

By now he has five slashes on his arm. Barely anything. He needs more.

_Get rid of it get rid of it_

Sam cuts himself, blood welling up on his skin, knife decorated in reds.

“ _If I didn’t know you, I would want to hunt you._ ”

_Shllitch_

“ _Ahh!_ ”

_Drip-drip-drip_

“ _And so would other hunters._ ”

_Shllitch_

Demon blood pulses through Sam, filling him with power, with evil, with _sin_. He’s not Sam Winchester. He’s a monster. A _vampire_. Maybe he should just—

He cuts again.

_I’m not a demon._

Another cut, this one overlapping one that is already deep.

A tear falls and there is no one around to see it. No one around to help Sam cleanse himself. And why would there be? He’d betrayed his family. He’d deliberately disobeyed the angels. He preyed on Ruby, and enjoyed every second of being in her presence and drinking of her blood.

An anguished cry rips from Sam’s chest, and it flees out his mouth.

“ _This disease pumping through my veins…_ ”

Sam doesn’t just slash this time. He nearly stabs, the blade sticking deep into his flesh. A spasm travels up his arm, and all the way to his collarbone. Left arm bleeding profusely, his blood pooling on the floor, Sam rips open his shirt.

“ _I can’t ever rip it out or scrub it clean._ ”

_But I can try._

Breathing hard, world spinning around him from pain, body nearly numb and throbbing, Sam lifts up the knife, and then slashes it deep across his stomach. He keels over, letting out a cry. Yet he does it again, higher this time. Near his heart.

“ _I’m a whole new level of freak!_ ”

_You’re a freak, Sam._

_A freak._

_You’re a freak._

He cuts till his fingers are cold and numb, till he can’t cut anymore. Sam collapses to the floor, fingers still weakly gripping the knife. Blood pools around him, and yet… it’s not enough.

He’s still diseased, still sick.

Still a freak.

Sam’s heart beats demon blood. It pumps out of him in dangerous amounts, and yet, it remains. It’s still in him. It’s. Still. Him.

His vision blurs. He might be crying. He’s not sure. His world is blacking out, and the floor seems to fall away beneath him.

His body aches deep inside with the truth.

“ _Sam Winchester._ ”

_No no no_

“ _The boy with the demon blood._ ”

_Kill me._

_Save me._

_Kill me._

_KILL ME._

_God, please._

Maybe there wasn’t a God. There were angels, so surely he must be out there. But if he was, why was he on the floor bleeding out demon blood?

_Why?_

The monster bled, and still, it beat straight from his heart.

_Monster._

_You’re a monster._

_Sam. Sam!_

_A monster._

_You’re a monster, Sam._

When Dean finds Sam, he’s pale, barely conscious, but he’s murmuring in an endless chant, “I’m a monster.”


End file.
